Halloween Hustle 5k

That's right, folks. Lance and I participated in the Halloween Hustle 5k at Sugarhouse Park a couple of weeks ago. This particular 5k was pretty awesome because almost everyone ran/walked in costume. There was even a troupe of dancers dressed as zombies doing the "Thriller" dance to get everyone riled up before the official start time. Fortunately this was a non-competitive 5k, because I'm pretty sure we were the very last people to cross the finish line. On the plus side, we definitely had the coolest costumes there.

We had to walk almost the whole way since we didn't really leave my legs any clearance, but we decided to run across the finish line and make a show of it. As we were running, all the little kids started to chant "Run, Pac-man!!! Don't get caught!! You can do it, Pac-man!!!!" and that made it all worth it. They also had a costume contest that I'm pretty sure we would have won, but we had to leave before they got to that part.

Anyway, 5k's are great. I've averaged out at about one per month since July, and now I'm going to tell you about another great opportunity to participate in one. My awesome friend Brittany did me a HUGE favor and got the word out about this on her blog as well, so if you read both you're going to get the same information again. The event in question is the St. Jude Give Thanks Walk and it will take place on Saturday, November 17 at Liberty Park in Salt Lake City. If you'd like, you can register online, but they will also have same day registration beginning at 8:00 A.M., one hour before the walk starts at 9:00 A.M. The event is free, but there are incentives if you would like to donate money. $35 gets you a t-shirt, $100 gets you a shirt and water bottle, $250 gets you the shirt, water bottle, and tote bag.
As I've learned more about this event, I've become more and more excited. Not only is it a great thing to do on a Saturday morning, but it is in support of a great cause. I became involved in this through my friend Matt, whose brother is one of the many children who have been able to receive the life-saving medical attention they need because of St. Jude's. If you're looking for a reason to participate in this walk that will tug at your heart strings, I'd encourage you to read this brief blurb about Tim, Matt's brother, and his experience with St. Jude's.
Have I told you that this will be really fun and totally family friendly? Here's a list of some of the fun attractions:

-Santa and an elf  (a photographer will be there to take pictures of the kids with Santa!)

-Mascots, Bumble and Leo the Lion

-ShutterBooth (photo booth)

-face painting

-The event will be emceed by Todd and Erin from B98.7fm. 

-Zumba warm up

-food from Chick-fil-A, Chili’s, Winder Dairy and more

-The event is a non-competitive 5k.  Dogs on a leash are welcome and it is stroller friendly!

If you have never done a 5k before, I truly cannot think of a better one to use as a starting place. This thing is gonna be swirling with pure energy, people!

I'm Back

Back to the old blogstone for me! I took a few weeks off to become acclimated to being home, but now seemed like a good time to get back to blogging.
When I first got back, I had a hard time establishing a good routine because my fitness classes at the U hadn't started yet. That made the first two weeks pretty difficult for me, but fortunately things are in full swing again. My classes are definitely challenging, but they are also really fun. I will say that exercising at approximately 4,000 feet above sea level is considerably harder than exercising on Hilton Head Island. The altitude change combined with the chilly weather we've been having made me feel like I was going to die on the first day of my running class, so I am very glad that our bodies have the ability to adapt to new situations. I'm happy to say that this week was much, much easier than last week. We've got a 5k coming up on Saturday, so I'm glad I'm not huffing and puffing quite so badly anymore. Actually, it's a Halloween 5k. Anyone got any awesome costume ideas?
Other than my exercise classes, I've been working on ridding my surroundings of my former self. Now, that may sound strange or morbid, but allow me to explain. Simply put, I was not a happy person before I went to H3. Somewhere deep inside I possessed the ability to be happy, but for the most part I was angry and depressed all the time. The H3 experience allowed me to shed my angry self and remember what it felt like to be happy and balanced. Upon my arrival home, I knew that if I didn't do something to change my surroundings, that former version of myself would probably try to haunt me and drag me down to her level again. Obviously I have no interest in doing that, so I've really been working on beautifying my surroundings. Granted, there isn't a ton that one can do with cinder blocks, but a girl has got to try, right? So far, I feel like the transformation is going pretty well. I've been able to stay on top of my daily tasks more easily and I the atmosphere is just generally better. It's amazing what a trip to Ikea and turning on a Scentsy can do to change the feeling of a place.
What about you guys? What do you do to hold on to the positive changes that you make?

My Inner Athlete and I Are Heading Home

 I'm back on the airplane.  Well, probably not the same airplane we traveled on before, but, you know, one of those airplanes that goes back and forth between Atlanta and Salt Lake City.  If you read the beginning of this blog, you may recall how I wrote while traveling from Utah to South Carolina, that Amber and I were on a quest to become "less and more" at the same time.  As I ponder the past six weeks, I would have to say, yes, I believe we have indeed begun to experience the transformation! As far as weight loss, we are each down about 18 pounds from the day we arrived at Hilton Head Health.  That we have each lost an amount of weight we are pleased with is, however, just kind of the frosting on the cake, if you will forgive that grotesquely inappropriate analogy, haha.  I guess I should say "the delicious low-fat feta-dill dressing on the salad."  But you know what I mean.  It's that we didn't just go to "fat camp" and lose weight, and we didn't just learn a lot of new things to do. We learned a new way to be.

 The first evening we were there, after our orientation and tour of the facilities, Amber and I were sitting on the front porch of the center, and the newness and strangeness of our situation really started to dawn on me. I began feeling quite overwhelmed and more than a little intimidated.  Was I really going to go in there and hotfoot it on the treadmill and pull and push on those exercise machines and and heft those weights?  "Wait, that's not the sort of thing I do" I heard myself saying "I get tired when I exercise...my muscles hurt, and I have never been 'athletic.'  What in the world was I thinking when I decided to come here?"

It was right about then that Kelia walked out the front door and onto the porch.  Kelia (whose name is pronounced "Keela") is one of the movers and shakers at H3. She is in charge of "Guest Relations," and works with everyone in the program to make sure they are having the best possible experience.  Exuding enthusiasm, she welcomed us warmly and asked, were we ready to unleash our inner athlete? "Wait," I thought, "you mean I have an inner athlete?"  It really had never occurred to me to wonder if I had one; I had always just assumed that I didn't.  But her enthusiasm was so contagious that I found myself smiling and saying "yes," like I really meant it.  The funny thing is, I realized that I did mean it.  If Kelia believed I had an inner athlete, then, by gosh, it must be true, and, by gum, I was going to start the unleashing process.  And, by gosh, I am pretty sure that the previous sentence was the first time I have ever used the term "by gum," so you can see that something is definitely happening here.  Now, as I've explained in other posts on this blog, my inner athlete is not going to be on anybody's short list in the next round of drafts, or for that matter on any really, really long lists.  But that's not the point.  The point is to get back to what I was talking about in the first paragraph after this lengthy digression about Kelia and the front porch, and that is to talk about finding a new way to BE and how my inner athlete has helped me with that.

I have learned that I like being a person who can move and enjoy it, and for whom making healthy choices is the best option.  I mean, really, what is the alternative?  Eating too much and sitting around looking like Jabba the Hutt?   I certainly don't want to be that person any more!

I am going to use this blog to keep processing what I have learned.  Writing about it is such a good way for me to remember and reinforce the things that have have made such a difference in my outlook.  It's going to take awhile, because I have learned and experienced so much! I invite you to journey along with me so I can share what I have learned.  I would love it so much if I could say something that would help you in your quest, whatever that might be.

Leaving?

So, I'm in a state of disbelief. The end of our six weeks has come. Now that the experience is really coming to a close, I've found myself pondering what the real "take home message" is. What I realized is that there isn't one. Let me explain.
You see, when I came here, I viewed the experience in front of me as being something that would teach me new things to do. While it's true that it did give me new tricks and tidbits of information, it really helped me achieve a new state of being.
There really aren't words to adequately express the change that has taken place within me. I won't just be taking home a new bag of tricks of the trade. Sure, I definitely learned some very helpful practical things, but they are just one component of a new state of being. I don't eat healthily because it's something that I can do, I eat healthily because that's the person that I am now. The time will pass by no matter what we do, so we might as well spend it being the kind of person we want to be rather than just doing the kinds of things that the person we want to be might want to be.
There you have it. There really isn't a blanket statement that can be made to explain the H3 experience. One thing I will say, however, is that it is 100% necessary to do the work yourself. Quick fixes are so, so, so appealing because at the moment we see or hear about them, all we can think of is that "better" version of ourselves. The skinny version, if you will. Don't fall for it! There is no quick fix and there is something about doing it the old fashioned way that makes you grow. I'm not going to lie, it isn't always easy. Sometimes you feel really sore and wonder if you can keep going. I've discovered that I can almost always keep going. Amber and Lindsay, two of the fabulous trainers I had the opportunity to work with, really helped me realize that. (Seriously, guys, they are great! I don't do personal shout outs very often on this blog, but they deserve it!)There were so many times that I looked at a certain exercise one of them wanted me to do and the first thing I thought was "Really? You want me to do that? I don't know how this is going to work." You know what happened? I tried it anyway and I discovered that I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK I AM! I promise that you are too.
Making these kinds of changes doesn't mean that you need to go out and start doing something extreme. Just start out by doing something. Walk a dog, have a dance party in your living room, bust out some good ol' Richard Simmons, replace your office chair with a fitball. Find ways to incorporate activity into the things that you already enjoy doing. There are tons of different exercise games to go along with different T.V. shows. Here's one to go along with The Big Bang Theory. Take the plunge! You can do it!!!!
It's amazing what those little things called endorphins will do for you. In the immortal words of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, "Exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands."

I Hip Hopped, Although I Wasn't Very Hip

Before Amber and I left for Hilton Head. we were having dinner with the family and everyone was looking at the H3 website, examining the sample schedule of activities.  While perusing the various offerings, Meredith asked (somewhat skeptically) "Mom, are you going to take the hip hop class?"
Can you imagine?  Why would she even ask a question like that?

If there was going to be a hip hop class, OF COURSE I was going to take it!

Well, it's probably a good thing that the hip hop class wasn't offered when we first got here.  I probably would have tried it and when my dance dyslexia kicked in I would have gone hopping off down the bunny trail.  But it was on the schedule today, and after my forays into the world of dance with Zumba and salsa I felt more confident.  Or, well, perhaps just less concerned about looking ridiculous.  Whatever.  So, Amber and I showed up, along with two of the fitness interns and one other guest, and started looking for our groove. Now, for some of us, our groove is well hidden.  Very well hidden.  So I wouldn't go so far as to say I found my groove, or even glimpsed it, but hey, I looked for it with attitude.  Yesiree.  And it was pretty groovy even if there wasn't an actual groove.

Yeah.  A lot of our experience here has been about doing stuff that we never thought we could do.  Or, more accurately, doing stuff that we never even thought about wondering if we could do.  And this brings me to the mention of an event in which we will be participating over the next three days:  a Yoga Retreat.  It's not a retreat in the sense that we are going off to some mystic mountain, as appealing as that might sound; we will still be sleeping and eating most of our meals at H3; however, we will immersing ourselves in yoga for three days, and venturing out on several different activities that I definitely never considered even thinking about wondering if I could do.  Yes, on the schedule for tomorrow is kayaking to an island where we will then do yoga on the beach.  Friday's activity is (get ready for this) stand-up paddle boarding!  Yikes.  It is rumored that some people may even do yoga on the paddle board (I am not one of the rumorees) (indeed, this could throw me back into wounded-manatee mode).  Anyway, it all sounds very interesting! Anchors aweigh!

Sticking With It

On Saturday I participated in my 3rd 5k since July. Here at H3, they have a yearly event called Devin's Dash which honors the memory and life of Gregory "Devin" Sheaffer, a beloved massage therapist here at H3. He passed away two years ago as after a battle with cancer. Now, I obviously never knew Devin, but many of his friends and family members were there and, let me tell you, those people know how to live. A phrase that is associated with Devin is "pure energy" and even though I was just another person in the crowd, it was obvious to me that Devin must have been bursting with that pure energy. I can't think of many other experiences I've had where there has been such an awesome vibe with so many people who were just happy to be there. It was truly remarkable to me.
After all was said and done and all the prizes were awarded, people were still there having a great time. There was dancing and cheering and copious amounts of that pure energy. Jeff, an awesome trainer here who also happens to be one of the most enthusiastic people I've ever met, took things up another notch by jumping in the pool. A few people jumped in, a few others were thrown in, and just like that the whole pool was filled with happy dancing people. At first my mom and I were slightly wary of jumping into a swimming pool fully clothed, but eventually we both decided to trow caution to the wind and join the party. To make things even more exciting Lyle Orr, one of Hilton Head Health's veteran guests, got everyone doing the Electric Slide in the pool. At one point there was even an adorable little fluffy dog named Scooter in the pool with us. It was fabulous, people! Fab-u-lous.
My mom already wrote an awesome post about the pool dancing, complete with video footage, so you should definitely check it out.
I'm not going to lie, on Sunday evening, I was majorly homesick. I even found myself wondering why we hadn't planned on just leaving after 5 weeks instead of 6. Now that the week is almost half over, here I am wondering where all the time went. Just like my mom, I am trying to cram all of my desired activities and classes into the 4 days that remain before we go home. Today was divided between lectures and fitness classes. Usually I've been filling my days with more of the fitness options than the lecture classes, but I am so glad I made the choice to get in a few more lectures before I leave.
I attended two lectures today, and both of them were about things that I desperately needed to hear. The first I went to was called "Exercise Adherence" and it was so good. In a way it was all information that I had heard before in other venues, but for some reason it hit home for me today like it never has before. One of the major stumbling blocks that I've had when I have attempted to establish fitness habits has been "all or nothing" mentality. I would find myself looking for any excuse not to exercise. Seriously. Any reason at all. One of my personal favorites was "I don't want to workout because I look fat in my workout clothes." I wasn't willing to stop looking at things as being a never ending "rock and a hard place" situation. I was always too fat, too tired, too sore, or too hungry to bother working out.
My, oh my, how things have changed. Not only am I now much more satisfied with my physical appearance than I was a few weeks ago, I'm actually seeking out new activities when I get back. After giving it a couple more chances, I realized that I love Salsa dancing. So, Lance and I are going to take Salsa dancing lessons when I get back! A couple of months ago, neither of us would have been even slightly interested in even trying, but now we're excited to have found something fun and active that we can do together. It makes a big difference to have active hobbies instead of hobbies that just involve sitting around. Who knows what we'll decide to try next!
What about you guys out there in bloggerland? What do you like to do to be active?

Dimensionality

You may have noticed that I haven't blogged for awhile.  Or not.  But in any event, it's time for me to try and catch up a little bit.  Things have been going at an alarmingly rapid pace around here, so my absence from the blogosphere is not due to a lack of things to blog about; rather, it's a matter of trying to keep up with everything I need and want to do in each twenty-four-hour period, while still retaining a little time to sleep and eat.

At the two-mile marker in the 5K

We leave for home this Sunday, September 30th.  Like Amber, I kind of feel like I have been here forever.  Has it only been five-and-a-half weeks?  The difference between how I feel now and how I felt when I first walked through the doors to Hilton Head Health is hard to describe; it's like I was previously living in a different dimension.  Now, before you get your expectations up too high, let me add that I am not yet leaping high buildings in a single bound, nor can I successfully distinguish my right foot from my left foot consistently throughout an entire Zumba class.  But, I can make it through the Zumba class!  I can make it through the Salsa class!  I have been doing yoga several times a week and have not yet received any threatening letters from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Yoga. I HAVE ridden my bike to the beach (several times), and have even ridden my bike ON the beach.  And, get this, last Saturday I participated in a 5K walk/run, did not finish last, and may or may not have jumped into the swimming pool fully clothed at the party afterwards.  Oh, alright, I actually did do that.  What's happening?  Hmm...maybe there is something to this inter-dimensional travel theory.

I made it to the beach!

Who would have thought?

Things Are Winding Down

I cannot believe that we only have one more week here at H3. Okay, so that isn't necessarily 100% true. Part of me feels like I have been here for so long that I've almost forgotten what my everyday life is like, but the majority of me thinks that the time has just flown by.
It has been so amazing to feel my progress from week to week. When I think back to those very first days here, it almost seems as though the me who will leave in one week is a completely different person than the person who was living in my body prior to this journey. When you think about it, I really am a different person than I was before I got here. You could even say that when I stepped over the threshold into those first few classes, the real me arrived. The person who is vibrant and happy and eager to do finally came to the forefront. I've come to know that what I really want out of life is joy. That may sound like a vague thing to want, but for me it's what I desire more than anything.
For so long I cowered in a giant shell of fat because I was afraid and convinced that I wasn't someone who could do or be anything at all. I didn't really know it then, but almost every happy occasion was shrouded with bleak depression. I was always focusing on what others had or were able to do and constantly comparing myself to them. Countless opportunities for change were ignored because I was too  consumed with reaction rather than intention. Being irritated and snippy had somehow become my default setting. Somewhere inside, the real me was screaming to get out, but my wounded, angry self wasn't ready to surrender yet. Realizing that now makes me so sad for the poor creature who wandered through my routine for the past few years.
Now that things are different, it has become clear to me that what may initially appear as coincidence is in fact a series of small miracles. The experiences I had leading up to this point weren't necessarily fun. In fact, many of them were painful. That being said, I feel it necessary to point out that nothing can exist without an opposite. I don't think that I would truly be able to appreciate how good I feel now if I didn't also know how it feels to feel bad. Obviously, the path ahead of me will contain more than a few potholes and obstacles to deal with, but those are circumstances and events that no one manages to avoid in life. From now on I am going to do my best to react to things in a more positive way. I want to be someone who uplifts others rather than being a dreary, mopey, time-consuming leech on those around me.
It would be impossible to list every single thing that I have discovered during this experience. For now I'm content just to have this one, solid truth I can rely on: the real me is back and I never have to experience anything alone. 

Who Knew?

I did it guys. I tried my first Zumba class on Friday. Yes, Zumba has gotten a lot of exposure here on this ol' blog, but this really was a first for me. I would definitely be lying if I said that I was eagerly anticipating shaking my groove thing, so imagine my surprise when I found myself getting into the beat and actually enjoying myself. A good friend of mine also tried Zumba for the first time this week and we've come to the conclusion that there is just something liberating about letting go of social apprehension and "feeling the rhythm," as it were.

How much time do we spend thinking that other people are looking at us? Personally, I find it kind of scary to think about how much energy I have wasted being scared of what other people think, because in reality, no one is actually looking. Middle School locker rooms are the perfect example of this. The first time you have to change for P.E. is absolutely terrifying. If you're like me, you're self conscious about your body and just can't stop worrying about whether or not the other girls will think you're fat. So, when the time comes to swap outfits, what do you do? You draw all of the attention in the room straight towards you when you say, "I'm changing, so no one look!" Rookie mistake, people! Rookie mistake!

Seriously, though, how much effort do we waste worrying about what other people see when they look at us? Why is it so hard to do the trendy "keep calm and carry on" thing? Who are we really trying to impress?

I think it is vitally important for us to decide who really matters in all of this. Will other people reap the immediate benefits of our hard work in the gym? No. Can anyone else exercise for us? Negatory. Last I checked, I couldn't trade in my curvaceous physique for something a little more streamlined. These facts have led me to determine that the individual doing the work is the only one who matters.

No one says it better than Natasha Bedingfield, so I'm just going to let one of my favorite workout songs do the talking for me. 

I, for one, am going to try new things and make my life an adventure! Who's with me?!

It Caught Up with Me

As I mentioned on Monday, I did a lot of exercise that day.  Probably more than I have done in a single day since I was, oh, about twelve.  So, I was a little concerned that it might catch up with me, and, by golly, it did.  Yesiree.  Tuesday, I was wiped out.  I got up and listened to my get-enthused-for-moving, wake-up music which is (are you ready for this?) "Eye of the Tiger."  Yeah, I know, could it get more hokey than that?  But, sheesh, I like that song, alright?  So anyway, I listened to "Eye of the Tiger, got ready and came over to the center. I was already feeling kind of tired but I talked myself into going to the Kick Boxing class.  I know, how funny is that, after channeling Rocky?  We got to put on boxing gloves.  I have never, ever, worn boxing gloves before, but then I suppose they are not the sort of thing that one would normally wear, so that isn't very surprising.  It was kind of fun to put them on but a little disappointing when the teacher said that we would not actually get to punch anything.  I could have come up with any number of things to mentally substitute for whatever inanimate objects I was punching.  Nevertheless, we hopped around and threw left hooks and right hooks and uppercuts and whatever else they call them into the air, and it was indeed a pretty good workout.  But that was it for the day.  I was done.  I think I dragged myself to a couple lecture classes and then called it a day.

So I need to learn to pace myself.  I guess I'm not very good at that yet, because I kind of overdid it AGAIN on Wednesday.  After my more restful day on Tuesday I felt like I needed to get back in the saddle asap, so I did Zumba in the morning, a class called Ultra-Circuit after lunch (which is a combination of cardio and strength training), and then later in the afternoon went to "Iron Yoga," which is basically just regular yoga, except that you do it with weights in your hands.  They were all pretty fun classes and I enjoyed them while I was doing them, but I woke up this morning with my energy stores feeling depleted again, and with some sore muscles.  I only went to one active class today, and that was pool yoga, which is pretty low key.  I think what I need to do is develop a routine which I can realistically do every day and then start implementing it here over the next two weeks so that I get the momentum going for when we return home.  How's that for a plan?

In spite of the peaks and valleys, though, I can definitely tell there's a difference in how I feel. I like being able to move more freely and feeling like my muscles are getting stronger, and I like being able to do things that I think I can't do.   This is where the butterflies come in.  The other day, I was walking back to our condo after an active day, and debating in my mind over whether or not I should return in a little while for the late-afternoon yoga class.  I had pretty much convinced myself that I should not. This is called the "monkey chatter" in one's head - all the little excuses and reasons that start swirling around to convince us to do something we shouldn't, or to not do something that we should.  So there I was, walking along listening to the monkey chatter as I walked toward the condos,  and suddenly I saw a whole gaggle of butterflies fluttering around a bush with bright yellow flowers.   It was beautiful!  Yellow flowers, green leaves, orange butterflies...wow.  Well, my photographer instincts immediately kicked in (I don't carry my camera around all the time, but for some reason I had it with me then), so I cautiously approached the bush and the butterflies.  It was kind of a low bush, so to photograph the butterflies, I had to do a lot of bending and leaning and squatting.  And suddenly I realized that I could bend and lean and squat a lot better than I could a few weeks ago!  I felt a little euphoric as I realized that I HAVE accomplished something!  I'm certainly not ready for prime time, but it is progress, and that's what matters.  I also realized that it was a small, tender mercy from God.  I have prayed to be able to do what I came here to do, and what a beautiful blessing it was to have a little group of some of God's most lovely creatures show me that I am improving, that I am increasing my ability to participate in life the way I want to, and that all this hard work will pay off!  I photographed the butterflies and then returned for the yoga class and was glad I did.  Did you know that when one does yoga, it is called "yoga practice?"  It doesn't mean that you are practicing FOR anything, it's just that the act of doing it is called a practice.  I like what the teacher always says as we are struggling to do some pose or other, as she encourages us to just do the best we can at that moment, "Remember, it's 'yoga practice,' not 'yoga perfect.'"  I am learning to celebrate the small victories each day; sometimes we have to look a little harder than other times to see them, but it's one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves!

 

September 10. Busy Day, and More Alligators

I'm tired tonight, but it's a good kind of tired.  I really did a lot today, having surprised myself by feeling hmm, well, energetic.  Is this whole "exercise gives you more energy" thing kicking in?  I have to admit, no matter how many times I have heard that said, I always kind of nodded politely while thinking to myself "yeah, maybe for everyone else, but I don't think that could ever happen to me."  I'm not getting overconfident here, though.  Maybe today was just a fluke.  Lots of time when I do more than I usually do, I pay my fatigue bill the next day.  So we'll see.  But I figure, I'll take "energetic" when I can get it and not worry aboubt robbing Peter to pay Paul.

I started the day out by biking over to the Center for breakfast, then heading to Zumba class, which was FUN.  Yes, I have discovered that I can move and sweat and feel tired and have fun at the same time.  Who would have thought?  Then I went for a pretty long bike ride, iced my knee for awhile (yeah, well, there is that...), ate lunch and then did a Hydrocircuit class (circuit training in the pool), went to a lecture on strength training, went to Yoga class, had dinner and accidentally went on another long bike ride (I only intended it to be a short bike ride, but I got lost and went quite a ways off my intended route, haha).  I took my camera out with me on the second bike ride which also helped make it kind of intense because I was trying to a) ride the bike; b) look for things to take pictures of; and c) not drop the camera.

And yes, there were alligators out and about today.  The weather was really nice, so maybe that beckoned them.  The first pictures are of one who was sitting outside the room where we have yoga. As I've always said, nothing disrupts a yoga class like someone shouting "There's an alligator outside," at which point everyone gets up and rushes over to the window to look at the alligator instead of saying centered and focusing on their breathing.  I'm counting on this not happening when I go back to Provo and find a yoga class to join there, however.

Anyway, when I went on my second bike ride I saw the other alligator, along with a heron and some pretty scenery.

I still haven't told you about the butterflies, and I have that on the agenda for my next post.  In the meantime, here are some of the  pictures from today.

September 9. Zumba Hey, Zumba Ha.

We have finished the third week of our stay here at Hilton Head Health, whew! In some ways, it feels like the time has gone by very quickly, but in other ways I feel like I have been here forever. When I look back through my notes and think about all the things I have done and learned, it makes me sort of giddy trying to figure out how I have packed all that in to such a short time!  I am profoundly grateful for this opportunity and am looking forward to continuing the journey.

I feel like I am actually getting better at some things.  I have learned to be aware of my body and what is happening in its various regions.  I think I used to just regard my body as this undifferentiated blob that I had to drag around everywhere.  Now I have learned the names of various muscles groups and sort of know what they do as they multitask their way through the many different mechanical and chemical processes that help get us through the day.  And yet, although there are many different parts, they are all profoundly connected.  As we are trying to balance on one foot in yoga, the teacher reminds us to tighten our abdominal muscles, and when I do, my foot feels more firmly rooted to the ground. If I tighten my fists on the weights in water resistance training, it makes my whole body tense up and the task becomes harder.  If I remember to breathe regularly and in rhythm with a repetitive exercise, it somehow feels easier.  I know I have only scratched the surface of this awareness - in fact, maybe it is too much to say scratched, it's probably more like "just blown the dust off this surface in preparation for scratching it," but at least it is a start.

And yes, I have lost weight, yippee!  It's kind of a mystery where it comes from, though, since I still feel pretty much like an undifferentiated blob.  Actually, I think I do know of one place.  For the last several days, when I have put my watch on in the morning, the band has been feeling really loose.  So yeah, I guess I have lost weight in my wrist.  Were you paying attention?  I said, my wrist.  REALLY?  Um, excuse me body...I know you've been looking for those fat stores to burn up, but you had to take them from my WRIST?!  Well, I'll take what I can get...maybe it will redistribute itself a little when the blob starts getting more differentiated

This past week's schedule included two more Zumba classes and the dreaded Salsa Dancing again.  Fortunately, the Zumbas came first, and the fact that I tried and found that I could actually DO some of the moves this time without having to resort to my elaborately creative self-choreographed routines gave me enough confidence (some might call it bravado) to venture once more into Studio B on Friday morning as the intoxicating rumbmambatango rhythms wafted through the air.  And guess what, I DID IT!!  Yes, I dance!  I dance!  There were fewer people in the class this time, and beautiful Alyssa, the lithe, graceful, petite instructor was able to take time to patiently let us practice the steps over and over until even I began to sort of get it.  Then she put the music on and we stood behind her looking into the mirror as we all began to Salsa together.  Granted, one might not have been able to help but notice that that the reflection in the mirror looked like a strange union of "Strictly Ballroom" and "Jurassic Park," but nevertheless, there were instances when I started on time, ended on time, and got several things in the middle to happen on time!  So I call that progress.

In my next post, I will tell you about the miracle of the butterflies.  For now, however,  I must retire to my bed - Zumba is on the schedule again tomorrow.

The Magic Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone

The phrase featured in the title of today's post came from Sam, one of the awesome interns here at H3. During our fitness classes, whenever she could see that someone might be having a hard time, she would proclaim, "the magic happens outside your comfort zone!" So, today as I was contemplating the things I need to do when I go back home, I decided to do something outside of my comfort zone! I signed up for not one, but three different fitness classes when I get back home. Not only did I sign up for them, I signed up for them through the U, so I will actually be receiving a grade for my participation. I'm fairly terrified to be taking fitness classes for college credit, but I decided it has to be done. I bit the bullet and signed up for, drum roll please, Jogging for Fitness, Aqua Tone, and Elementary Hip Hop Dance. People, the magic should be exploding off around me in giant displays of fireworks, because as we have already discussed, I am not a natural dancer. I tend to look like this when I dance, only I'm not nearly as coordinated:
All kidding aside, even though this dance class is outside my comfort zone, it will definitely make life more exciting when I go home. Hooray for trying something new!
After all, it won't matter what I do here if I go home and just keep doing exactly what I did before. Fortunately, the H3 experience approaches health and weight loss from many different angles. Yes, they do emphasize exercising and healthy eating, but on top of that, they provide an opportunity for us to heal things that are broken and learn new ways of doing things. I've learned here that it is much easier to develop a new, healthier habit than it is to suddenly abandon bad habits cold turkey. If I'm taking the first approach, I have the opportunity to use each new day as a blank canvas. There are no smudges, no blemishes, and no red flags. I don't have to think about anything other than what I am doing at this very moment. After all, as Lisette says, we are only assured of the moment we are in. We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow, let alone a next week or a next year.
The essence of the moment is all we have, so let's make it beautiful! Let's learn something new or take a step into the unknown. Sure, it's scary when we don't know exactly what lies in store, but how often do we really know what's about to pop up anyway? Not very often. It seems to me that no matter what our circumstances are, we are always facing some element of the unknown. I'm going to work on being less frightened of what I can't see. There isn't anything I can do to change it, so I just need to remember that God made me in such a way that I can weather the storm. Faith is the opposite of fear, and at this moment, I choose faith.
So, all you people out there in bloggerland, I suggest we all work on having faith in whatever we believe in. Everyone has different struggles, so it only makes sense that we all find solace in different places. For some it is a belief in a higher power, for others it may be the peace and solitude that comes from being surrounded by nature, and for others still that renewing energy might come just from sitting and reading a really good book for a while. Everyone is different, but we all have the capacity to make it through.
Whatever you're going through, keep going! You can do it! Remember, the magic happens outside your comfort zone!

Meal Planning

So, I'm trying to develop some new skills, one of them being planning meals. Can I just say that this feels like kryptonite to me? For whatever reason, I am so, so, so bad at planning meals. I am so easily discouraged when it comes to this particular challenge, but that needs to change! I need to learn that I can plan out our meals and be successful. So far, I'm thinking that I need to get a whiteboard calendar to put on the fridge. That way, when I sit down every week or every Sunday and Wednesday to plan my meals, I can just write them down on the board. I figure that if it's written down, I won't forget what I had planned.
Also, I've come to love ziplist.com because I can make my grocery list online and then text it to my phone. I think that going to the store with a list is an absolute necessity. Otherwise I just end up buying a bunch of crap that "sounds good" but isn't going to help me make any actual meals.
The third thing I want to do is try out some new recipes. I heard someone say the other day that the average American family only rotates through about 12 different meals, and I think that I am definitely part of that group. Actually, I probably bring that average down since I tend to make quesadillas and pasta quite frequently. Man, I need to branch out and be more adventurous!
Fortunately, H3 has some great recipes on their website, so I will definitely be including those in my repertoire when I go home. I'm particularly excited to make them at home because I have been able to try so many, and for the most part, they have been delicious.
What kinds of things do you guys do to plan your meals? Got any advice? I need some help, or else my meal planning is going to keep looking like this:

image via

September 4. Persist in Doing

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love that quote.  I have had it going through my head every day as I have worked at the things (which are most of them) in this world of exercise that have never been easy for me.  Take, for example, the little bike ride we do a few times a day from our condo to the Center.  It's only about five minutes, but the first day it was kind of hard for me.  There are a couple of little hills, and my quadriceps burned some as I pushed over them. Now, it's easier. In addition to the bike riding, I have been doing other exercises to strengthen the quads, and it's all helping.  Now, I think maybe I am ready to try some longer bike rides.  I would like to be able to ride to the beach and back, which is about three miles round trip.  I know that doesn't sound like much to all you Tour-de-Francers, but I would be happy if I could do it before leaving here.  No, wait, let me rephrase that - I WILL be happy WHEN I do it!  Woo-hoo, how's that for unbridled optimism?  I bet if Oprah hadn't retired from TV she would be calling me to be on her show.

Alright, enough of the rah-rah stuff for now.  Let's get real.  Did you notice I didn't use the word "goal" in referring to my desire to ride to the beach and back?  I actually rather hate that word.  How many times have you been told to "set goals," and then felt frustrated because you didn't or couldn't achieve them. It kind of sets us up for failure and feeling bad about ourselves.  One of the problems with goals is that we get all fired up about this or that (usually some kind of self-improvement), and then in the heat of the moment we often choose unrealistic goals.  And then there's that pesky problem of having to make a plan to achieve them, realistic or not.  We have a great teacher here named Bob Wright, whose classes on nutrition and health, weight control and various other topics have been very illuminating.  It's not that there isn't a lot of material I hadn't heard before (although there has been some), it's just that he puts it all together in a way that really makes sense and helps you see the overall picture.  Anyway, I was in one of Bob's classes entitled "Staying on Track," where he was talking about the dreaded "G" word, and he made the statement that nothing  interferes with the change process more than unrealistic, unachievable goals.  He gave us a clever little acronym pointing out that we have to be "smart" with our goals"

S -  Make them SPECIFIC (a goal without a plan is a wish)
M - They must be MEASURABLE
A -  They must be ACTION-oriented
R -   They must be REALISTIC
T -   There must be a TIME-frame

Well, that all sounds good, right?  This IS good advice, and if I ever make a "goal" I will try to follow it. I'm sure those of you with organized brains could do very well with it. But, good heavens, I have a hard enough time getting out of the house with my keys in my hand, and then not locking them in the car when I get to wherever I am going, to keep a goal, let alone an acronym,  in my mind!  So I think what we have to recognize here is that we all have our own styles of learning and achieving, and we can be smart about it.  I like what Bob told us about giving ourselves structured flexibility and permission to adjust as we go along.  He showed a picture of a straight, upward sloping arrow and said "this is not what success looks like, it's more like THIS," and then showed a picture of a bunch of tangled lines, like a clump of mixed-up rubber bands in your junk drawer with an arrow sloping upwards out of them.  Makes sense.  So anyway, getting back to the quote from Emerson, right now what I want to do is to get a little better at some things everyday.  And if I keep doing that everyday, it will eventually get me to somewhere that is better than where I was before, and getting there will probably even seem a little easier every day.  Wow, that sentence was kind of like a tangled pile of rubber bands.  But, hmm...there you go, I guess you could say that, right now, just getting those rubber bands out of the junk drawer is my (cringe) goal!  Forward, march!

Yoga on the Beach

It was kind of like the Truman Show on Saturday.  Yeah, I did Beach Yoga.  BEACH YOGA!  How many stock photos have you seen of people doing yoga on the beach?  The main difference, of course, is that the beach-yoga people in the pictures are usually adept at a) actually doing yoga, or b) looking so hip and sleek that you would never question whether or not they really could.  Still, it was kind of a fantasy experience, largely due to the beautiful weather we had after days and days of rain and overcast.  The sky was so blue and the clouds were so white that I wouldn't have been at all surprised to see a giant curtain raise up at some point, revealing that it was actually a movie set.  That's funny, isn't it?  Not funny "ha ha," but funny strange.  The movies are supposed to portray reality (well, some of them, at least), but when we encounter the reality that the movies are trying to portray, we think it's too perfect to be real.  Anyway, our little class of three people plus the teacher, Karen, trooped down to the sand early in the morning, spread out our mats and commenced to do our version of yoga on the beach.  And it was pretty good!  Karen was very patient as we incorporated our various physical challenges into the yoga poses.  I had pulled or strained a muscle in my upper back, and it was right pesky trying not to hurt it more, so I had to modify some of the stretches, but I still managed to keep up, and was even able to do a not-terrible version of the downward-facing dog and the two warrior poses we have learned.  I'm still not very good at the balancing poses, where you stand on one foot and put your arms up in the air.  We were facing away from the ocean at that point, and Karen told us to pick a strong, straight solid object to mirror, so I picked a tree. Unfortunately, my imitation was more like one of a spindly tree in a strong wind.  But I will keep practicing; maybe one of these days I will be able to put my socks on while standing up, who knows?!  I'm not actually sure when I might ever need that skill, but it never hurts to throw something else in your fitness toolbag, right?  Luckily, the beach wasn't too crowded yet, so we didn't attract onlookers, not that I would have cared.  I mean, it's not like THEY were down there on the sand communing with their breath and having a storybook beach yoga experience!  I wish I had a picture of the beautiful setting.  I debated about bringing my camera but ultimately decided not to so I wouldn't get distracted.  Maybe I will go back down there if the weather is good this week and capture some images of the scene.

I think the amount of unaccustomed physical activity is catching up with us a little, though.  Besides my sore back muscle, I have an unhappy knee, and Amber is complaining about her left calf muscle after all the treadmilling this week, along with the 5K run/walk.  So we went and got some muscle rub stuff and some Tiger Balm patches, and we're going to plaster ourselves up this evening and go off duty!  Tomorrow is Monday, so we'll be back in the saddle.  We'll let you know how it goes!

Run for Jane in Savannah, Georgia

Yesterday morning, a group of us from H3 headed over to Savannah to participate in a 5k called "Run for Jane." We all gathered together at 6:30 a.m. to start the drive over. Now, not being a native to these parts, I am not sure what the norm is, but yesterday was exceptionally foggy. There were some parts where it seemed like we were about to drive off the edge of the earth and wind up in a swirling vortex of mist. Fortunately, the fog cleared up before the race started, so that didn't happen.
The race was held at Fort Pulaski National Monument, and people, it was beautiful. Granted, my feet didn't really appreciate the fact that the majority of the race was on grass and dirt, but the scenery was amazing. Whoever designed the course for this run must have known that I was coming, because the scenery really made the day for me. I wish I had had my camera with me to snap some pictures. Obviously they would have been blurry because I was constantly moving, but considering my mediocre photography skills, there is a high likelihood that they would have looked just like every other photo I take. I did remember to snap this bad boy on my phone right before the race started.


In my opinion, there's nothing quite like blue sky and beautiful trees and grass. I just love it. The best part about this day was that I actually ran part of it. Truthfully, I probably could have pushed myself even more, but I started to get some nasty blisters. Apparently running on a treadmill is not the same as running on grass and dirt. Who knew? ;)
All in all, the day was a success. I am definitely glad I participated, and I am looking forward to Devin's Dash on the 22nd. (See what I did there? I just told all of you that I'm going to do it, so now I have to. Sometimes you need to be accountable to someone!) In the meantime, I am going to work on increasing my speed when I am actually on solid ground. It's time to take it up another notch! Who's with me?

Lumpy Has Relatives

As we were leaving the Center after dinner, we met one of the men in our program who had been out walking, and he said "I just saw the biggest alligator I've even seen on this island!" He described where it was, so after quickly going back to our condo and grabbing cameras, Amber and I jumped on our bikes and went out looking for the giant reptile.  We found the place the man had described, a ditch just off the road.  We parked our bikes and crept cautiously forward.  It was kind of creepy when we saw him, just sitting there in the shallow water.  We found ourselves whispering to each other.  I don't know how acute an alligator's hearing is, but we certainly did not want to startle this guy!  He was definitely big, probably about seven feet long, and, remembering the taxi driver's story about the alligator that lunged thirty feet and swallowed a dog, it seemed like the whole mutual respect thing I had talked to Lumpy about might not be what this gator would think of if his stomache started to rumble.  Fortunately, he just sat there.  Sitting still seems to be something that alligators do a lot.  I guess they are saving up their energy for those big lunges.  I whipped out my camera to take some pictures and realized it was really good that I was photographing a motionless alligator intead of, say, a cheetah, because my lens was completely fogged up from being taken out of a cool house into 89% humidity! Lumpy's Grandpa thoughtfully continued to sit still and wait while my lens unfogged, and I got some photos.  It was interesting to see the spikes on his back and tail - like a dinosaur, really!

When we returned to our condo, I walked out by our little creek to see if Lumpy was there.  I haven't seen him for a couple days and had wondered if the animals might be hunkering down due to the hurricane in the gulf which has sent some big thunderstorms and periods of torential rain out our way.  I noticed some movement in the water and saw a small alligator head poking out, but I don't think it was Lumpy.  This one was smaller and looked younger.  So I decided that this must be Lumpy's cousin, Sheila.  I watched as Sheila swam over to the other side of the creek and went into "sit still and look around with my slanty little alligator eyes" mode, which got kind of boring after a minute or two, so I went inside.

We went to a class today about the importance of sleep in weight loss.  It was mostly stuff I have heard before, but let me tell you, I fully agree that sleep is very important for a lot of reasons, and that most of us do not get enough of it!  So, I'm going to go do my homework now and see if I can improve in the area of getting more sleep!

Here's Lumpy's Grandpa's Head

Lumpy's Grandpa - Look How big he is compared to the baby!!

This is one of the babies we saw the first day

Feeling Better

Today I went to this class, about sleep apnea of all things, and Bob, the instructor, said something really interesting. He said that a lot of people come here to make some changes and that most of them say, "I didn't know how bad I really felt until I started to feel better." This really struck me because it has been 100% true for me. Every day I come here and I sweat and I work and I think that I can't keep going, but after it's all said and done and I've done my very best, I look back at where I was even last week and the change is phenomenal. My quality of life before was really very poor. I didn't have any real vibrancy in my existence, and I could only focus on a little tiny part of life. On top of that, it was usually something negative that I was focusing on. Life was too hard. There wasn't enough money to make ends meet. Lance was never home. I didn't have any friends. People judged me because I was fat. The list went on and on and on. There was always something to gripe about.
Just in the short time that I have been here, I feel like a void within me has been filled. I know that sounds odd and probably overly dramatic, but I really feel like it's true. I really didn't know how bad I felt until I got here and started to feel better.
Today during ULTRA Circuit, I wasn't completely sure how I was going to do. I tried it yesterday and I thought it was going to kill me. Seriously, people. Anyway, today there were so many times that I was tempted to take a break or reduce my speed or not do very many reps. I'm so happy to say that I didn't give up. During all of the cardio segments, I really did my best and pushed it as hard as I could, and I kept that focus through all of the strength portions as well. And you know what? At the end of the class, even though I was completely drenched with sweat, I felt so great.
Last but not least, here are some funnies to bring you a chuckle.




Hope you're all having a lovely day!

Making Friends with Sweat

Warning:  This post contains numerous uses of the word "sweat."  Just so you know.

I've talked before a little bit about being hungry and how my automatic reaction of wanting to "fix" that uncomfortableness can end up causing more problems than it fixes. While ruminating over this conundrum, I have noticed that the basic concept expands to a number of other areas that can also impede our progress.  I have been trying lately to closely observe how I feel in different situations, and it occurs to me that I must have a lower tolerance towards being uncomfortable than some of my spunkier peers.  I really don't like being hungry or thirsty, or too hot or too cold.  I face with something akin to desperation a situation where I REALLY need hand lotion and none is available.  Take me outside without my sunglasses and I will squint like a mole and cast around frantically for something to throw over my head.  And don't get me started about the rampant epidemic of apostrophe misue which has become a plague to the English-speaking world, and makes my skin crawl (although, as you must have observed, I have a rather high tolerance towards sentence fragments).

I guess the operative term here is "high maintenance."  I never consciously tried to become high maintenance, it just sort of happened.  As I've mentioned, I am working on being more mindful of the hunger thing, to use it as a tool rather than to think of it as something that automatically has to be fixed.  That's been an interesting exploration.  But one thing I realize that I must come to grips with in order to thrive in a fitness environment is SWEAT.  I'm not talking about other people's sweat; that doesn't bother me a bit.   Well, maybe it does if  I am on a crowded bus in, say, France, in the middle of summer, if you know what I mean, but just regular old well-earned fitness sweat is fine.  Except when it is on me.  I have never liked the sensation of sweating, just never have, and it has dawned on me that in my previous attempts at exercise I have deliberately stopped before the point where I really started to sweat because of my aversion towards being UNCOMFORTABLE.  Ah ha!  Yes, this might be an "ah ha" moment.  I have to learn to like sweating, or at least tolerate it, in order to help my body become healthier and be able to do more things.  The trade-off is worth it!  I have spent a lot of time in denial about that whole "optimum heart rate" thing that the fitness gurus are always droning on about, and I think that this is because I was unconsciously thinking "yeah, I would have to sweat to make that happen."

Today I went to a class called "treading," which Amber has already done several times.  I wasn't sure if I could do it, and I knew that if I did it would make me sweat.  It involves getting on the treadmill, being allowed (mercifully) to choose your own speed, and then stepping along as the instructor yells out the various degrees of incline which we must set.  Let me tell you, it got pretty hilly!  But I made it, and I did hit that optimum heart rate number.  I did sweat.  It wasn't really that uncomfortable, and the trade-off for how good I felt afterwards....was worth it!

Something Funny to Brighten the Day

We watched this video during our lecture about nutrition. Watch the whole thing, it's hilarious.

Week 2, Day 1

Today, I really pushed myself. I feel like last week was pretty good, but I am definitely going to be kicking it up a notch this week. I started the day off with a nice, sweaty Treading class. During that class, I felt so free. I pushed my speed up higher than I have ever been able to before, and lo and behold, I didn't die, and I didn't fly off the treadmill. To make that success even sweeter, I realized that my body actually has a point where it wants to run. Do you know how rare that is for me? I was completely shocked to discover that such a point exists for me. For as long as I can remember, I have had an almost pathological fear of running. In school, P.E. was the absolute bane of my existence and I trudged through the whole experience completely certain that bad things were in store. I had such a tragic view of my own abilities, and I did not trust my body to do anything that it was designed to do. Today, though, I was free. I was browsing on Pinterest and saw this picture, and I think it describes perfectly the way I have felt since starting this journey.



Can I just tell you how refreshing it is to me to feel like I am finally starting to deserve this body that I've been given? For so long I've let my own feelings of inadequacy keep me from trying so many new and great things. Our bodies really are amazing things when you think about it, and I'm so grateful that I am having this experience. I'm using my body for what it was designed to do, and I am healing my spirit so that the whole package unite and finally live life rather than being alive while the world passes by.
Today I discovered what freedom feels like. 

August 26. On Being Hungry. And Lumpy, the Alligator

Well, we have completed our first week of camp!  It's been hard, but SO fun and enlightening.  I have learned a lot about the extent to which our weight problems come from our heads.  Brings new meaning to the term "fathead," doesn't it?  Ha ha.  The relationship with food is deep and complex.  One concept that I have been working on is that it's ALRIGHT to be hungry sometimes!  It actually kind of feels good for awhile.  Better than bloated, you know?  I think we are kind of programmed to think that in most aspects of our lives if there is something we perceive as being "wrong," that we have to fix it.  If we feel sick or have a pain we can often take a medicine to help.  And usually that's a good thing, but not always.  As one of our friends, a prominent British pharmacologist said, "the only reason to take a medication is if the consequences of not taking it will be worse than those of taking it."  I think it is entirely possible to think about food in the same way.  We think that being hungry is always a bad thing, so we have to fix it.  We fix it by eating food, often too much or the wrong kind, and the side-effects we get from eating too much can be worse than feeling hungry.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I like being hungry very much.  I don't, and I sorrow to think that such a large percentage of the world's population has to feel that way and can't do anything about it most of the time.  But the mind games we play with ourselves about food are many and multi-faceted.  There's my philosophizing for the day.  More thoughts on this later.

We have taken things a little bit slower this weekend, so tomorrow we have to start cranking it up again!  Yesterday we went on a fun, kind of strange little tour of Hilton Head Island.  We have discovered that the scenery here is actually kind of monotonous.  It's very flat, with lots of trees that pretty much get in the way of anything you are trying to look at.  We have learned some very interesting things about the history of the Island, though, especially its role during the time of the Civil War.  Today we went to church and then were just on our own for the afternoon; not many organized activities here on Sunday since that is when the people who are leaving check out and the new people check in.  Looking at the group of newbies shuffling in to the dining room for their first meal, I felt like we are now The Experienced!  We have been here a week and know a lot more than when we started just seven days ago.

I have had a chance over the weekend to do some critter-stalking with my camera.  Yesterday evening I saw another, larger alligator and some beautiful Great Blue Herons.  Today I was out walking around by the little creek behind our condo and as I approached one spot on the bank I heard some splashing and saw movement out of the corner of my eye as a group of three or four turtles plunged into the water, alarmed by my approach.  One large turtle didn't follow the others, though, so I was able to sit quietly and take some close-up shots of him.  His shell had a layer of algae or something growing on it!  I thought his back feet were especially interesting.  They are chunky with tiny little toes and must be very strong, for pushing him through the water.  As I watched the turtle, I noticed something swimming a little further out in the water, and saw that it was the same small alligator we saw on the first day.  Well, I guess it was the same one; frankly, they all look pretty much alike to me.  Anyway, as I watched he came swimming closer and closer.  I sat still and he came right up to the bank just a couple feet away from me.  I wondered if I should be concerned.  After all, he is quite a small alligator - but when do they start growing their teeth?  When do they start looking for mammals to eat?  I am quite sure that my new-agey "embrace the hunger" ideas outlined above would come nowhere near penetrating that little reptilian brain.  I thought about the story our taxi driver had told us this morning on the way to church, about the alligator who had lunged thirty feet out of the water and eaten not one, but two, dogs!  Still, I was fascinated by the chance to observe this creature up close.  He was only about two or three feet away from me.  He swam up and stopped at the edge of the water and put his head on the bank and just sat there.  I had a little talk with him and suggested that he might want to just stay right there.  I thought maybe he should have a name, so I named him Lumpy.  And since we were both just sitting there in our spaces at the edge of that creek, I figured we ought to have some sort of agreement.  "Lumpy," I said, "it's all about mutual respect.   That's just what we have to do, respect each other for who we are and not get in each other's spaces."  He seemed to agree, although I must say that when he took a couple steps forward onto the bank, my mind raced through all the fitness classes from this past week and I hoped that I would  at least be fit enough to jump up and run if need be.  He was so close I could see his nostrils flare a little, and I wondered if he was thinking, "mmm..."  But in the end he just stayed where he was, and I stayed where I was.  The big turtle was still on the bank a little further down, and other turtles came swimming up and paddled all around where Lumpy was sitting, and they took no notice of each other.  The sun shone, and  a brilliant, pink dragonfly buzzed over the water, and a squirrel ran up a nearby tree.  It was a peaceful summer day by a creek in South Carolina.